Letter #1 from Bola

Hi Auntie!

I’m glad Ate made this page for you. I read it every day, at least three times a day. Especially the eulogy she wrote.

I wish you and mommy went to Costa Rica to celebrate Ate & Kuya’s wedding. I wish you were here when Kristine surprised mommy when she announced she was pregnant. I wish you were here to celebrate my graduation last month. I just wish you were here. I still can’t stop crying every time I realize you’re not here with us anymore.

I remember accompanying mommy to the hospital when I got out of school early. The days you were improving made me smile, and you still made jokes. The days you weren’t doing well, all we could do is pray for your health to get better.

Two weeks ago, during Kristine’s baby shower, Nevaeh said she missed you a lot. She also said, “As much as I want Auntie Aida here with us still, crying won’t bring her back. She’s happy, and eventually we will all be together as a family again with God.”

It’s crazy that an eight-year-old can say things that can help heal wounded hearts.

I looked at the date today, and saw your birthday is around the corner. I wish I could’ve made you proud while you were still with us. There’s so much I want to share with you. If you could hear my thoughts, then you already know what I want to say.

I love you, Auntie, and miss you so much.

Paula

Instagram 10/26/2012

I will never forget you......

Hindi kita malilimutan
Hindi kita pababayaan
Nakaukit magpakailanman
Sa ‘king palad ang ‘yong pangalan
Malilimutan ba ng ina
Ang anak na galing sa kanya
Sanggol sa kanyang sinapupunan
Paano niyang matatalikdan
Ngunit kahit na malimutan
Ng ina ang anak niyang tangan

Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailanma’y di pababayaan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailanma’y di pababayaan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailanma’y di pababayaan
Malilimutan ba ng ina
Ang anak na galing sa kanya
Sanggol sa kanyang sinapupunan
Paano niyang matatalikdan
Ngunit kahit na malimutan
Ng ina ang anak niyang tangan

Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailanma’y di pababayaan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailanma’y di pababayaan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailanma’y di pababayaan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailanma’y di pababayaan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailanma’y di pababayaan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailanma’y di…
Kailanma’y di…
Pababayaan

Good night prayers

Dear Lord,

Please send a message to my Aunt to tell her how much I miss her. I think about her every night and wish she was still with us but you loved her and needed her more than we do; still something I'm having a hard time with.

Please also bless me so that I no longer ache in pain from missing her. Please be with me as I grieve and remind me of the great times I shared with her. Lord also bless my family who I know is suffering through this loss as I am. May they never forget the joy & love Auntie Aida showered us with.

Amen.

i love you

Facebook Posts

It's been a long long time since I wrote a letter to you, but I have been posting on your Facebook wall. So this is just a compilation of the postings I have made in the last 2 months. 

March 27th
There are signs everywhere.....   it feels like you're helping go in the right direction.....  not a day goes by when I don't think of you, Auntie Aida <3

April 28th
Sometimes it doesn't hurt so bad when I think of you.....  but today I just miss you so much......  I would love just to hug you one more time.....  <3

May 14th
My birthday just isn't the same without you.....  more and more I know that you were more than just an aunt to me.....  you were also one of my closest friends.....  I miss you so so much.....  I will never stop missing you....  Love you Auntie. 

May 15th
Bittersweet birthday.....  I have so much to be thankful for, however it hit me like a sack of bricks that you weren't here. My first birthday in 30 years.....  I love and miss you everyday, Auntie Aida. 

May 30th
Eating your fave, Pinakbet. I just tried Ampalaya again.....  I thought since I am older I would like it finally.....  NOPE!! LoL. Love and miss you so so much. 

Letter #4

I have missed you more than ever.....  I am going to make changes in my life and would really like a sign from you knowing that I am making the right decision or that you are there to help me.....  I wish you were here so we could talk.....  So I could hug you and hold your hand....